Wishes on eye lashes

I guess everyone has the winter blues, when inspiration is at a low and the clouds just will not part ways for the sun.

So... I got a haircut.

It funny how a single haircut can make or break you. This one made me. I feel great, my head feels light, my shoulders are bare and defined, my neck is exposed. There is something invigorating about a a great hair cut. My cut unmasked me, for my own eyes to see me.

A feeling of beauty, being beautiful, only come from inside. I am in search of my true inner beauty. My progress is going slowly, but I can feel each step change my perception of myself. I want to feel my inner beauty shinning, even on the dullest days. I want to 'know' who I am.

I think I'm great, but its been almost 25 years of getting to know myself. I learn about myself even from reliving memories, or telling stories of my past. Its like seeing myself as a character in a book, and I've found that I like the character I'm talking about.

These are the things I am learning. I will always be learning. But there are lots of things I already know about myself, thank goodness, which I build on everyday. I've learned I like writing things down. I don't always go back and read the things, but I have a need to be able to put pen to paper. So I bring a journal with me everywhere I go. Simple things, i do for myself. I try to take care of myself. I like being my friend, I am good company for myself.

I am known to take a lot of photos of myself too, and I look in the mirror alot. I know you may be thinking that I must be really obsessed with what I look like... But thats not it at all, and I have only in the last few years realized what I am doing... I am looking at a smile. A great big smile on a face i've learned to love.

You are taught stuff in school, but 'school' is just a tool to teach you that you need to want to learn, for your whole life.

I wish I knew, without a doubt, who I am. But that would just be wishing on eyelashes. So I will learn who I am.

With that knowledge, I think I will be o.k. Free to roam the lands, to seek out new things to learn about.


Learn one thing new everyday: Today I will learn how to cook with fennel seeds.

sweet bananas thats good!

This is what pure sweetness looks like.

This weekend, I made cookies. Plain chocolate chip but with a very ripe banana. I mashed it in with the wet ingredients and cut the suggested sugar in half. I ultimately made, banada bread cookies. They were way better than I had imagined, and even softer than I had dreamed. They reminded me of my Moms banana chocolate chip muffin tops. She would plop down spoonfulls of banana bread onto a cookie sheet, and bake them like cookies. They were delicious, the taste of banana bread, the shape of a cookie, with the toasty brown edges of a muffin top.

Mmmmmmmm

This is comfort food, the kind of food you eat with your eyes closed and it tastes just as good. Comfort...even the word emits good feelings, good memories. Everyone has their own sense of comfort, and where they draw those feelings from.

This is Steve



Steve is a constant source of comfort for me. On a daily basis I bask in it. He is the light at the end of every tunnel, and for some reason, I pass through alot of tunnels in life. He is a Personal Trainer by profession, a Yogi at heart and the greatest guy I have ever known. We are coming up to 2 years in March, but that would be counting back.

I would like to count forward

To cherish every day that is approaching. I smile, because that it at least what I do in terms of cooking. There are not enough days in the week, to cook all the things I have recipes for. I have hundreds of recipes just waiting for their day. I should take a lesson from that way of thinking. I will ponder that thought, while eating a banana chocolate chip cookie.

Adapted from a recipe for Chocolate chip cookies from The Ultimate Healthy Eating Plan

Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies

1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup sucanat (or brown sugar)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup PC semi sweet decadent chocolate chip (they are the best!)
1 very ripe banana

1 1/2 cups spelt flour (or all-purpose)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp nutmeg

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
2. In a large bowl mix all the wet'ish ingredients together. Break up that banana!
3. Sift the flour,nutmeg and baking soda together over the wet and stir it all together.
4. Using 2 spoons, scoop and shape the dough into balls, by passing the dough back and forth between the spoons. (This is fun)
5. Place them anywhere on a baking sheet, because they don't spread out at all.
6. Bake for 10-15 minutes depending on how soft you would like them.

ENJOY!

COFFEE for me!

It takes a little bit of time to make a great coffee. In our apartment we grind our Kicking Horse beans, then pack the expresso pot. We froth the Almond Milk to a heavenly foam and I stir in some raw honey. Now this is worth the time!

This is the only way we drink coffee, other than going to Second Cup or Starbucks. For me, I only drink coffee from those places because they have soy milk available. It helps that those coffee shops have nice interiors with comfy chairs, but really, a coffee just isn't a coffee without milk.

These 'fancy' coffee's Steve and I make here, at home, are not your average Cup o' Joe. We wouldn't drink cup after cup mindlessly, oh no! In the effort of making them, lies the relaxation of enjoying them. Each foamy cup is something to cherish. From the first cool milk bubbles popping on our nose, to the smooth hot finish of good, dark, coffee. Our minds are completely captivated.

Steve drinks far more coffee than me. Being that he has far more time in his morning routine, than I allow myself. I only drink decaffinated too. Even the smallest amount of caffeine turns me into a bit of a looney, biting all my nails off, tapping my feet, oh its not fun. That is the great things about de-caf, no side effects! It's funny that the 'kick' of caffeine is what most look for in the hot brew. No thanks!

Coffee is one of those things that took me a while to appreciate, but a lifetime left to enjoy.

No need for speed!

It was "empty out the freezer" for dinner last night.

My mini household Alaska has all sorts of goodies, liquor, chocolate, ripe bananas, nuts and the classic ice-cubes. But I've got my eye on some soupy frozen delights. A frozen plastic tub of diced tomatoes, and another of veggie broth. Some frozen peas, the last of the chicken in our house (we are beginning a vegetarian diet tomorrow) and a delicious soup is in the works.

I love cooking soup, always have. There is something so simply elegant about soup, the way it warms you from the inside out and warms your hands while you're holding it. Each deep inhale, with your head directly over the steam and you feel the energy of the food enter your mind. The vegetables give into the warmth as well, releasing their often hidden flavours, and softening in delight.

Oh but sometimes that pot starts to boil, I don't want it to get that excited, soup should be simmered, not waited for in haste, but set to simmer while other relaxing things are done, like writing or reading.



Quiet soup
1/2 turnip, peeled and cubed
3 stalks celery, chopped wildly
4 cloves of garlic
1 cup frozen peas
1 bay leaf
lots of fresh ground black pepper, because i like it alot
big pinch of basil
little pinch of thyme
1/2 cup, dry, Quinoa (little gluten free grain)
4 chicken thighs , cooked first
2 cups diced tomatoes
2 cups veggie broth
extra water if you want it 'soupy' more than 'stewy'

But soup isn't boring, shouldn't be, couldn't be, and wasn't last night! Even if this soup was the best thing I had ever tasted, I wouldn't write it down anywhere because the next soup will be really good too. The only soup I have ever used a recipe for is Thai Squash and Coconut Soup with Shrimp and this is only because I 'WANT it to taste the same every time. Steve even said it was the best soup he had ever had in his life. I can't be that definitive, but its damn good!

***

It was Thursday night when I started this post. I was still in my work-out clothes, pondering the idea of doing some laundry, but mostly looking forward to the snow storm that, fingers crossed, would strand me on my un-plowable side street so I didn't have to go to work.

A girl can dream, and eat soup!



Here I am, Friday, my dream came true, I am stranded at home. Eating a bowl of reheated soup and a toasted bagel. Reading all morning, watching my sleepy kitty lounge on the table. Spending an entire day with him at my side, as we both stare out the window, each snowflake falling with wild excitement.